I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
