I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just gift wrapped bread.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
