how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
