why didn't you poke me back
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
