Girls should come with a carfax report
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
