i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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