I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
birth control should be required to get into college
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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