Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
