He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
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He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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