There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
