Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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