we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize