are you so shy because you have an std?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
