And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
