I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
