Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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