the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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