sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
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I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
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I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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