So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
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I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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