I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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