i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
