maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
