she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
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You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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