He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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