Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize