Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
