Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
