I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
