She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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