We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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