Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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