she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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