i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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