Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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