He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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