Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
