You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
