What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
