I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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