after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
