When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
