If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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