It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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