Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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