seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
