No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
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Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
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She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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