Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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