he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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