there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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