The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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