She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
