SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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