do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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