I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
