I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
