I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
the liver wants what the liver wants
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
