Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
