I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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