she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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