u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
