but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
