Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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