She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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