garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize