Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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