You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
