She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Also, beer. Big fan.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
