Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize