she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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