Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize