I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My penis needs a shock collar
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
