ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
