so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
